Category: LSE2 Drafts

If you thought for a second there was only three parts here, wrong! This is the fourth post taken from the Second Book of LSE, aka LSE2. This is a continuation of LSE1, or The First Book of LSE. LSE2 is rather important.

Maybe enjoy? 🙂

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Jessica, present yourself. Now.”

“Yes, Sir, here I am. What can I do for you, my Sir?

“Jessica, as you know, today is a very, very special day, and to signify that, I have asked the Department of Rules and Contracts (or DORCs for short) to grant you a 24-hour off-the-record, effective immediately.”

“But, Sir, you don’t have to…”

“Jessica, it’s OK. Today’s a very special day, and there are going to be a lot of memorable things that happen. Just like you.”

Jessica blushed like I’d never seen her blush before, more than any other blush that has ever been blushed. It was adorable.

“I may have a surprise for you today, Jessica, and I know you will like it. I promise it will be something worthy of narration.”

“Thank you, Sir. I look forward to it, but we still have preparations, and we have guests to be seated since they have come to join us and witness this most excellent of excellent events”.

“Jessica, you are an amazing human. You are radiant in your beauty without even being seen. Your personage is… Just so spectacular.”

Jessica blushes again, but not as much as the first blush. But a blush nonetheless.

“Jessica, because of today’s event, I have asked some of my friends to join us in celebrating.”

“Sir?”

“Jessica, I think they’re outside waiting for me to get them.”

I go to the door and open it up, and there they are, those guys, all five of them.

“Gents, please come in. I have been expecting you.”

And almost in unison, they state, “Thank you, Sir.” And then they walk in.

I thought Jessica was going to screech. The screech of all screeches because of her love for them. Of course, I’m talking about LSE (or the band LowSelfEsteem).

“Oh my God, Sir, you asked them to join us?”

“No, Jessica. I did not ask them to be here. They asked me if they could be here today to play Memorable for you. They want to help us celebrate this milestone in our relationship.”

“But, Sir, I… I… I….”

“Jessica, it’s OK. Remember, you’re off the record.

“Sir, this is so amazing that I barely have words for it. You would ask them to come and play for us on this day at this place with those people out there?”

Jessica, you’re damn right that I would do it for you a million, billion, trillion times over. You are everything to me, Jessica; you know this to be true.

“You know that I will kill all humans for you, and I will kill all humans with you. You are the single most important thing, not just in my life but in this world. You are, indeed, memorable.

Jessica has some tears running down her cheeks. “Sir, I don’t know what to say. It is such an honor to have them here with us, to have Franklin here, and I bet my step-niece is out there as well as the rest of the gang. Alphonso Mango, and your lifelong homey, a supervillain with you, the writer of your story, K.W. Turner.”

The members of LSE entered the room one by one. One at a time, they walked to Jessica to give her a congratulatory hug, said something I could not hear, and moved off to the side for the next person to come in and repeat the process.

The last, but not least, was Franklin. And much like he did in Tales From The Jessica Files – The First Book of LSE L3/L4 – Hello-LSE-Go.

Franklin just hugs Jessica, kisses her on top of her head, and says aloud, “Jessica, you are phenomenal, and I’m so glad that you’re already a part of our family, but now, you will be family.”

Jessica instantly knows what that means, as do I, and I feel a tear roll down my right cheek. It was so joyous to have those guys here, for them to pay tribute to Jessica in such an unbelievable way.

“Jessica, there’s something else that we have to know about today. LSE wants to record the event so they can press it on a 45 entitled “She’s Just Memorable.” What do you think?”

“Oh my God, Sir!!! This is amazing. I could never in a million billion trillion years imagine something like this. I’m so glad I’m off the record because this is fucking amazing. I don’t know what else I can say. This is every girl’s dream.”

“Jessica, it’s your dream; we all want to make it come true.”

Jessica smiles that smile, you know, the one where you realize you are butter and being melted, OK, not warm, blistering fucking hot. As in 31 days straight of it being over 110°. The fuck.

“Jessica, the band had asked if we could do this recording today, and it’s a one-shot deal. There’s no second takes. It is straight to vinyl. Are you OK with this?”

Again, Jessica states, “Sir, this is amazing.”

“Jessica, I love you, and you know this to be true. I have been infatuated with and absolutely in love with you since I first saw you.

“In our first interaction, the Hello Hello Game of P26 – Our Flirting? from Tales From The Jessica Files – From Bad To Worser. All of those events in that story kept me alive. And again, you know this to be true. You know that.” And I trailed off.

“Sir, please don’t go there. Not today. I don’t want you to go to the DMV.

“Jessica, you pulled me back, you gave me a second chance in life, and with you. I have to tell you something: it is very important and can be rather shocking.

“When I came back from the DMV, I knew everything. Everything that would happen up until that date and time with us. I just knew. I knew how special and amazing you were. You are just everything. The ultimate partner.

“It is why I said to you, as specifically noted in P27 – Or Pre-starter? from Tales From The Jessica Files – From Bad To Worser, the following statement, word for word.

“Jessica, get your shit together. I can’t exist in this reality without you here with me.”

Yes, Sir, I remember that, Sir. I think I am starting to understand.”

“What I knew of our life together quickly dissipated from my mind, but the truth was always there. I knew how powerful your soul was to me; it is a large part of the man standing before you.”

“Sir, I am unsure what to say to this dramatic tur… Oh, wait, I’m off the record. Michael, I love you and have always known you were too good to be true. And then this series of events.

“I now know why I thought you were too good to be true, Michael. It’s because you’ve gone to hell and come back for me. Your second chance was mine, too. Michael. It was mine, too.”

“Jessica, I’m sorry I never told you this. I loved you far too much to let you walk away again. I knew this inside and out then, and I know this to be true even now.”

“I love you, Michael. I love you, my Sir. My one and only, Sir. You have given me a life that I never thought I would have. You have saved me many times.

Jessica approached me, arms out for a hug. And one she would get.

After a lovely hug,

Robert A. Smith steps forward, walks over to me, and states, “Sir, thank you for having us here and for sharing something so deep and honest; it’s just…” Robert A. Smith trails off before coming back around.

“Sir, again, thank you for having us here, and please know we all love you. “Because we are all family, one big family of people related in blood, love, and life, and nothing is better than that.

“You have given me an idea for another song. I think it will be called “Your second chance was mine, too,” an instant classic. Once we, LSE, have written that song, and before we record it, we want the two of you to come to the studio and hear us play for you.”

Robert A Smith paused for a second, likely formulating the plan right then and there. And that’s why he was the architect.

“I foresee it being an acoustic song with each band member singing a quarter of the lyrics and all of us singing the chorus together.

“Sir, I can never say thank you enough, having known you for a lifetime. I need not remind you that we wouldn’t be here today if not for you. I know I say this to you a lot, but without you, Sir, we would never have met any of these people.

“We never experience the things that we get to experience. We would be incomplete without you, Sir. You are the magnet that brought us together.

You are the most amazing, talented, loving, charismatic human I have ever known or met. Franklin would also, given you were his best man after all.”

I blushed. In an instant, I felt the tidal wave of emotions that I could not stop, that I could not contain, and that I could not escape.

It wasn’t just one tear that came out. I have said that I have always tried to maintain a level of strength for Jessica. I never wanted her to see me like this, like P17 – Tear from Tales From The Jessica Files.

This is not good, but I turned and looked at Jessica, and she was crying as well. It was a magnificent tribute from folks who were, by all accounts, the most amazing and influential band in the world.

And here they are at this place with our friends, wanting to play this song I wrote for Jessica and press it to vinyl. And then, they want to write another song, for her, for her and I, and for us.

It would always be for us, all of us. Us.

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So there you go folks, a raw version of LSE2, or The Second Book of LSE. We fully expect LSE2 to sell like hotcakes.

If you thought for a second there was only two parts here, wrong! This is the third post taken from the Second Book of LSE, aka LSE2. This is a continuation of LSE1, or The First Book of LSE. LSE2 is rather important.

Maybe enjoy? 🙂

——————

I was sitting on the couch, watching the local news channel, curious about the weather over the next 7 to 10 days because it’s been rather hot here lately. I think it’s been over 110 for two weeks now.

My phone rings, a FaceTime call, and I look down, it’s Franklin. I answer, “Mushi Mushi, Franklin.”

“Michael, it’s been a spell. I have an opportunity for you that may prove to be consequential.”

“Wow, Franklin used consequential. Must be the word of the day. Is it in the New York Times?”

My sister steps into the frame and says, ” Michael, don’t pick on my husband because he’s not as smart as you.”

“Yes, sister. Please return to whatever you do and allow the idiots to plot and scheme.”

I laughed at that, very sarcastic.

“Franklin, where, who, when, how, and will there be vodka?”

I laughed my balls off on the inside because the sarcasm was flowing. But Franklin was family, and I’ve known him forever. A friend at the very least.

“Michael, it’s next Wednesday, at 11 am local.”

“Franklin, where?”

“Oh, it will be at this guy’s house…”

“I don’t know if that plays well. It just seems too sketchy.”

“Michael, I promise you this is not only legit, but it is somebody I know, and he was a very important part of my life.”

“Franklin, I understand, and I appreciate your honesty, as you know I would. I appreciate your effort on this.

“It sure would be nice to talk to somebody other than myself or the cats. You know, Tibor and Sakura.”

“Franklin, what kind of studio does this person have? And you’ve said that I know this person, right? Man should’ve led with that.”

“It is a professional studio, Michael; my friend is very well-known.”

I thought to myself, who the fuck does Franklin know that is bigger than me and the boys? And when I say the boys here, I’m talking about the members of LSE or low self-esteem.

You don’t get much more popular than those four.

“Franklin, it’s two people who are hosting the show?

“Franklin, what the fuck?”

“It’s not like that, Michael, it’s not like that, I promise.

“It’s Lexi Blue and Foxy Monroe. They have an incredibly popular YouTube channel, and they want you to join them for an hour or so.

“You answer questions from people who are super chatting with them. This makes them money, given that they don’t have any sponsors, unless you want to sponsor them. You are going to do this.”

“Franklin, you should’ve just led with them because you know I know them and we know that they’re married to Marvalious and Arturius.

“Oh, plus you are the manager of the band, and you were there at the wedding, you sat next to me.

“We know them.”

I know if Michael, I just didn’t. I didn’t want to try to hand it to you, I thought I could sell it.

“Franklin, you and your business smarts. I just don’t understand.”

“Michael, you don’t understand how I am smart, or you don’t understand the sentence.”

“Franklin, I’m growing tired of this. You should have led with Lexi Blue and Foxy Monroe.

“You should’ve said 11 AM, next Wednesday. They will have both Cromulent Vodka, and I know there will be Zevia to boot.” I chuckled.

“Franklin, are you going to have the boys hanging out with me on stage or in a chair or whatever the fuck I’m going to be? Because that’s about the only way that people are going to watch.

“You know I don’t sell shit worth of books and… Fine. It would be good to be there and get more of the story out, as that is something that I frequently bring up.

“I really want the story out there. It means just so much to me.”

“Michael, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I could hear his voice cracking as he said that to me on the phone.

“Franklin, I appreciate you, and you know I wouldn’t have stood up for you at your wedding had I not really loved you as a human.

“Michael, I don’t know, and he’s cut off as if somebody had taken his phone, and then I got “Oh fuck.”

“Sister, what is up?”

“Michael, don’t you do that. Don’t you do that at all. Don’t make this dramatic.”

“But sister, we’re just sharing our emotions and.”

“Michael, I don’t fucking care. Please don’t make this a huge emotional thing because you’ll need it when you’re there. Can ya get me?”

“Yes, sister, I understand, but please know that I like to talk to people like they’re important to me. I like people to know that they’re important to me.”

Franklin, get in pictures back on the phone.

“Yes, Michael, I’m sorry it’s just that. I’m sorry.”

“Franklin we’re not doing this, sister just told me not to do this, so I need to cut it out.”

“Franklin, can you tell me a little bit about the format? How does it work? How is it structured? You know, the types of things that a manager would know.

“Since apparently you’re not just my pimp, but my manager as well..

I laughed pretty hard, and Franklin joined in on that one.

“Michael, wonderful joke, and I appreciate that. And I know why you did it, but I thank you for that.”

“Franklin, I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I will be respectful.

“What is the format? What is the layout? What is the demographics? What do they talk about? What kind of furniture do they have? Can I watch a bunch of their shows or archived or anything?”

“Michael, there are a lot of questions in that sentence, and I’m not sure I can answer all of them, partly because I might not have remembered all of them.”

“I will email it to you so that you have it and can answer it because there’s a lot to it. And you know this to be true.”

Michael, I haven’t heard you use that phrase in a long time. Didn’t you skip?

Franklin, I don’t know what Skip means but if that’s not be something, I have to look up an urban dictionary.

I wash it out, laughing, almost uncontrollably, because I knew how funny that was.

The studio is an actual studio at Studios Studio by Samudio. It is a very nice lightly colored femininely decorated with a ton of LSE shit all around.

That sounds pretty cool. Where would I be sitting?

Michael, they have a large-ish couch, a full-size couch that they sit on. It’s a black leather, and the guest couch is a two-seater loveseat. It is comfortable. Comfortable. They may even have fun, candles, scented candles, burning. And he laughs very hard

Franklin, that one was pretty good. I appreciate that one. Now the two couches match color and texture and everything right?

Michael, this is how I know you’re crazy. Nobody would ask that question. I’ve never And he throws off

I’m sorry Franklin, I didn’t mean to blow the spot, but OCD.

Michael, they are the exact same they’re from a set, and you know the for lack of a better term, La-Z-Boy, that is in my living room, that I sit on, and it’s mine, it is a part of that three-piece set. The girls gave that to me as a gift.

Franklin, I did not realize this, and I think it’s absolutely amazing, and I’m glad to know that they’ll match.

Oh, by the way, Franklin, what color is the ceiling?

I laughed, Franklin last, and I heard my sister laughing in the background, not sure where Misty is, but They were out so that’s why I couldn’t show you a picture of the couch or whatever

As for storage of liquids that I would like to keep very cold, are they equipped for that?

“Yes, Sir, they have a very beautiful modern Samsung fridge.”

It is relatively new, and they purchased it with the proceeds from one of their Super Chats. They did buy it used, but they still got a really good deal on it.

Franklin, you didn’t give them that refrigerator did you?

How did you know? How did you possibly know? When your sister and I remodeled the kitchen, we got a new refrigerator.

At one point during our family dinner, I was in the kitchen and Lexi had overheard me and she came in and said hey, I’ll take that fridge and in exchange. I’ll give you the third chair.

I think something like that would also get the story out. It’s just so important to me.

“At one point during our family dinner, I was in the kitchen and Lexi had overheard me and she came in and said “Franklin, I’ll take that fridge and in exchange. I’ll give you the third chair.Michael

“Franklin, every time we talk, I learn a little bit more about somebody. I thought I knew that shit ton about. The stories and things that have transpired in your life are just fascinating.

Franklin, I want to write a book with you, I’m going to make it a Tales From The Jessica Files book, and it’s going to be about LSE.

I know them, I’ve known them a lifetime And I think something like that would also get the story out. It’s just so important to me.

Michael, I am shocked. The last that we had talked about it you no longer wanted to write The Jessica Files series because of how painful it was. How much it hurt, and How nobody understood.

Franklin I am just just just I don’t know

What I’m thinking as I’m sitting here looking at you that you could be somebody who can fill in some of the dots for me because obviously I’m not out on the road with y’all.

I’m not in the studio with y’all except for the first time, I’m only there at dinner. And I paused not that long pause in the middle of the sentence stupidity know this was a very different type of pause. I think

I think this could be really cool. I’m not giving you any writers credits, but I already know so much about them.

I can also technically interview them after I’ve spoken to all four of them individually or as a team, and have gotten their permission to do this, and I will respect it if they do not want me to.

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So there you go folks, a raw version of LSE2, or The Second Book of LSE. We fully expect LSE2 to sell like hotcakes.